


The Real Reason Gregor and Laisa have Ten Ugly Emperor Dolls in their Rooms

by ana



Category: Vorkosigan Saga - Lois McMaster Bujold
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Humor, Games, Light-Hearted, Points of View, Strip Games, Toys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-31
Updated: 2015-08-31
Packaged: 2018-04-18 08:32:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4699250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ana/pseuds/ana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Not what you think. Hmm. Maybe not what you think.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Real Reason Gregor and Laisa have Ten Ugly Emperor Dolls in their Rooms

“They’re a reminder,” Gregor said, in sober tones, when Miles asked him about the miniature ‘emperor’ dolls in the room.

Gregor explained to Miles that a friend of his wife’s had originally brought them to his attention and he’d made sure the fellow who was selling them was tracked down and his stock brought to Gregor.

There would be many, Miles supposed, who would wonder at their emperor fixing these faulty toys; fixing them so their heads would stop flying off and so the greeting wasn’t garbled - and then after doing all of that having them all incinerated.  Miles didn’t wonder. He knew Gregor well. Gregor liked fixing things and these were, after all, illegal merchandise (All official Barrayaran merchandise needing an official stamp and these were _most definitely_ not approved Barrayaran souvenirs) so they had to be incinerated – eventually. Gregor was far too by the book and serious to do otherwise.

“But why are you keeping these ones here,” Miles asked, because these dolls or figurines or whatever you wanted to call them weren’t in the least bit flattering.

“It’s something personal.  A reminder of sorts,” Gregor said, waving a hand, bowing his head, and Miles nodded wondering what symbolic meaning it had for his foster brother. For Miles it was a touch macabre – a doll that was supposed to represent the emperor and its head kept coming off.  Was it a reminder to Gregor of his mortality?  Miles didn’t pursue it since Gregor obviously didn’t want to talk about it.

**The Day Before Yesterday**

“So this is what the kids do?” Laisa asked, as Gregor lined up the emperors on the table– five for Laisa, five for him, facing each other. Gregor had marked the heads with different colours to differentiate them.

“Yes,” said Gregor, “they line them up and try and knock the heads off each other.”

“But I thought you fixed them so their heads would stop flying off.”

“I unfixed these ones and made a few adjustments.”

Laisa knew that Gregor often did this – he liked to fix things but he also got bored very quickly. Once he figured out how to fix something his interest would pall and he would start to see what other things he could do whatever he had in his hands.

“Want to play?” he asked, and spiked Laisa’s curiosity when he added, “This is the adult version, adult rules.”

“What kind of rules?” she asked.

“Every time you knock off the opponents’ head, they have to remove a piece of clothing.”

Laisa grinned. “Oh…I _like_ this game. Prepare to strip, sire.”

**Later…**

Gregor turned his doll, pressed the head and watched it fly off to knock off another head off one of Laisa’s emperors.

“Pay up, Empress,” Gregor said.

“You rigged this,” Laisa said, with a pout, “your emperors are different!”

Gregor gasped. “I’m offended! What proof do you have?”

Laisa simply pointed to her unbuttoned blouse – the only piece of clothing she was wearing, the rest of her clothes, including her underwear, in a small pile at her feet. Gregor, still in full house uniform, moved around the table and stepped up close to his empress.

“Are you accusing me of cheating, Empress?”

“Yes.”

He sighed and threw up his hands. “I give up, you’re right.”

“And you don’t even have the decency to try and lie.”

“I should probably pay a forfeit. What do you suggest?”

“I think you should remove this blouse yourself, but not with your tricksy hands.”

Gregor placed his hands behind his back. “Hmm…Do I have your permission to use my mouth?”

Laisa sighed, as she parted her blouse, and ran her fingertips across her collar bone. “Let me think about it…"

"Can you think about it faster?"

"Don't rush me, ah-ah, hands behind your back...Alright, you may use your mouth on one condition.  I’m keeping these dolls on display as our own private reminder until I get my rematch. I expect to have many rematches.”

Gregor agreed, so Laisa gave her emperor permission…not to use his hands. 

**Author's Note:**

> I was writing a different fic but ended up finishing this one cos that one isn't going so well and this one made me chuckle.
> 
> This fic is kind of linked (but just barely) to this one [Welcome to my World](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4501299)  
> but not required reading :D
> 
> OMG!!! I wrote a short, fluffy fic :D
> 
> There's another one related to these headless emperors but so far it's only in my flying head.


End file.
